Geek Shock

Geek Shock 103 - Dinosaur Ghost Blood

What a piece of work is today's show.  After a week's hiatus we've come back refreshed (and in Just Michael's case sunburned and massaged) and ready to take on this week's geek news.  wait, what?.... what did you just say?....poopburger?... that doesn't make any....oh, GOD Seriously!?!  We take off a WEEK and come back to poopburger!? ...Good luck with this show folks.  You are on your own...

Geek Shock - Wavy Line, Bird

Sun. Man on a boat. Jackal. In other geek news, we talk about pottery, Torgo doesn't know what the f#*k MEGA Bloks are, dating your dvd, Endless Happiness Pen, Risk (is their business), Anonymous and Lulzsec adventures continue, Terry Pratchett's retirement, iphones, Wii Shares, okay spam, Scissor Rock, American Gods are well funded, more Pegg/Frost/Wright, DC show, Mel's return, Marvel apparently has crap to talk about this week too, stats, Dr. Manga, Smith's Land, Free Valve, and turtles. IF you didn't call your "girlfriend" before you finished reading this description, insert disc #1.

Geek Shock 101 - I Love Lucy-pede

So tell us, Paul. How do you feel about Margaritaville? Is it a place of magic and wonder? Is it anything like E3? Because that is what everyone is talking about including us. We are also talking about CombatCon, Frenchbook, Indiana Hawk, How much is your kidney worth(?), WiiU, XboxU, PS3U, TrekU, OriginU, Catwoman, Zelda Music, Bioshock Movement, CloudBox, the return of Fox, the big DC reset, Ninten-Hacks, Tennessee hates sharing, Human Centipede 2, Faith in Torchwood, and Ultima's return.

Geek Shock 100 - Douchebag and A**hole: The Musical!

Yes.  It is episode 100.  But it's not a Geek Shock Wank Fest (tm).  No, no.  There's too muck news to talk about like the PSN debacle hits home, T&J onstage, more Riddick, less Wolvie, Kinect your Hogan, game insurance, the dirty Skyline, Call of Social Networks, maybe there IS a chart, Dali's gold lament, Ichi: the Lawyer, Conan gots to get paid less, Superstuff, and Obama: Monster Hunter.  That's right folks.  We're in the triple digits now, so get out your pain stick; it's time for a Geek Shock!

Geek Shock 99 - Horse Herpes

Wake up Nanook of the Thrones, something is wrong with Paul! Is it possible that lustful tiger-men can give you horse herpes? You're gonna find out. You'll also find out about all that damn fantasy being medieval n' stuff, the Candy Land wars, Carrie: Turn off the Blech, Bye Bye Arnie, video trading cards, Macho snaps into it, spam banks, ebook revolution, 3D is bad for 2D, comic-con want ads, Tag-you're Thor, Cube-o-mancer, Cleanin' up the town, Jordan- the final frontier, CDC and zombies, witchy consoles, golden duke, PSdown, L.A. Noir is Hot, bigNES, MCV, DA3, Olmos Def, Pyrates, and Suckest Punch. So clean off that pudding sweat, it's time for a Geek Shock! If you would like Paul to do an impression of your favorite character, send your request to comments@uglycouchshow.com

Geek Shock 98 - The Science Fairy

What can I say? We thrive on chaos and that's what you get this week as we talk about all the new geek news like SpiderDark II, Akira, the Bay Challenge, too much Gaga, Sony's sorry, smart kids, why the bees are going away, Trickster, V for Vunder Voman, seeing the Tower, new shows, science fairs, and shows we won't get to see. So put that gift under the pillow for the Science Fairy. It's time for a Geek Shock. If you would like Paul to do an impression of your favorite character, send your request to comments@uglycouchshow.com

Geek Shock 97 - BlizActivision

The UCS crew is here to bring you the geek news like only Michael Caine can. Today we discuss Thor, 1982 video game prohibition repeal, Kaneeeeeda, Zorro: Beyond Thunderdome, Diablo 3, Sony woes, Netflix to save shows (other than SGU), the Art of Video Games, NEA for VG, comics confiscation, the Dark Knight's high returns, the fall of the Dark Tower, Chakotay kills Bin Laden, monsters for healing, and an Insidious win. Plus a whole lot of impressions and Paul punching. If you would like Paul to do an impression of your favorite character, send your request to comments@uglycouchshow.com

Geek Shock 96 - Fart Opera

Charles "The Cheese" from the "WHO ASKED YOU" podcast joins us in our geeky frivolity and helps us answer the all important question, "What effect does super-wang have on Kandor?" Plus all the other nerdity that happened this week like more damn Spider-Dark, one less dwarf, orc stink, capes for dignity, fighting the return of Pac Man, Sony's protects your privacy, Wii 2 (us 0), SETI shutdown, B&N now with C, cable who(?), the loss of grandpa chiptunes, the self-opening store, the FTC, the Walking Book, Opera, Game of Deadly Thrones, and Depression for writers. So pour yourself a cup of arsenic, it's Geek Shock.

Geek Shock 95 - Aged in a Hobo's Shoe

To all members of the "Yar's Revenge" Reboot Development Team: The opinions of the Geek Shock Team do not reflect those of it's parent company UCS Inc. But, let's face it, your game sucked. It was rancid toe-shoes. Ewe Boll hated it. Satan gives it two thumbs up. But don't take my word for it. Take Paul's and Barry's words for it. Many, many words. Plus we run down the geek events of the week both great and small and we STILL fit in time for a Big List - Shatner style! Rest in Peace, Sarah Jane...

Geek Shock 94 - Saga of the Red Dwarf

Ladies and gentlemen of the court. Here for your entertainment from the lands of Wakaka, His Highness is proud to present the comedy stylings and the feast of the Red Dwarf! But first a discussion of matter of import to the kingdom such as the GS Tablet, down with time-travel, eating Crow, Cage wins, Fatalities, porn in parliament, the loss of a Lawson, Anonymous part deux, Grammys, no death Warcraft, Star Flix, The Night the Net Went Down in Georgia, The Zod, and a Ghul. And of course the main attraction: The incredible Red Dwarf. Tickle with a feather and a treat comes dancing out!

Geek Shock 93 - The Jiu-Jitsu System

A one. And a four. And a *knock* knock* knock*! Order in the court as Kommander gets a fan, Torgo does the worst Arnold impression ever, Jeff gets his Captain on, and Paul gets cocoonered. Plus all the various weekly geekly things that happened this week. Control is rarely maintained but then we are rarely this funny. I hope you like nerds and M.A.S.K. It's Geek Shock time!

Geek Shock 92 - Jeff Gets Upset

Look Out! Jeff's gonna blow! Was it something I said(read)? You'll have to find out. And while you are with us, get caught up on al the latest geek-foonery like our take on Sucker Punch, How not to write a cover letter, Spider-man: Bitch Slap the Dark, DN-uh-oh, Venezuelan Science, Assassin's Job, Pet Food awesomeness, Duke Nukem-the joke, American Gods, The House of Starbucks, DC Nation, Laptop justice, Dark Knight Re-Rises, the MCP, Lois among us, Wynne, Game of Food Trucks, Chew, Fringe, Netflix, more X, and Nelson's Experiment. Which one of these categories sets Jeff off? Can you guess? Compare notes and tune into this week's Geek Shock.

Geek Shock 91 - Mrs. Nutterworth

It's Tuesday, Tuesday. Gotta get down on Tuesday cause that's when we get geekin'. This week's Geek Shock stirs your batter with news from all over the nerdmos like the Shat's B-day, The Spidey Project (home version), the DC feud, that's my Davros(!), Amazon and on, Sumo marathon, Netflix originals, sock puppets, Gough goes, Akira (i.e. Ralph), King of the Dead, fear of the English, Sandman is on, Hobbit is on, and Dune is off. Plus a Big List reminder of all the dumb controversies surrounding video games over the last few years. Fun Fun fun fun, looking forward to a GEEK SHOCK!

Geek Shock 90 - Paul Cheats on Barry

What would happen if Paul and Barry dated?  This is a question for the ages and we answer it here on this week's Geek Shock.  There was so much news that we had to forgo the Big List this week.  What news you ask?  Well, my good fellow, we talk about a continued turning off of the dark, Rovio misinformed-o, Macy's Thanksgiving Day Massacre, a Dare to re-Devil, Archie Babies, Munchkin Axe Cop, Batman sex, magic stamps, geek trading cards, Microsoft Hack Points, Chrome of steel, Discworld TV, goodbye yellow sub, the Monkey King, Punisher IV, Dark Tower IV.V, awesome Deadpool, Torchlight win, Kinect win, Australia lose, Pacific Rim (job), Ubisoft rocks, and ESRB sheds some light.  Listen as Paul gets it under the table.  Or behind a woodshed.  Or something.

Geek Shock 89 - Menstruating Chicken

This is the day that comedy died, rose from the dead... then died again. Welcome to the chaos that is this week's Geek Shock.  Hidden is the entropy is little nuggets of geek news like Joe Hill's fiction, a Kiss for him, 3D wars, more Evil, canned cow farts, cordycepts, the Spidey Project, 3DS battery life, Amazing bid, Nintend-Flix, Avatar II, Wonderful casting, Capeless, Trent-pire, Saints Row 3, the end of Madness, and the top 10 most paused movie moments.  That and a lot of laughing at ourselves and others in this week's (god help us) Geek Shock!

Geek Shock 88 - GooseNipples

So, I'm laying in bed... and Geek Shock appears and sprays me with geek news like Baby Gaga, the chicken channel, The Devil May *sigh*, G.I. Joe 2: The Justin Bieber Story, Ghost Rider 1.5, Dovahkiin, making money the Amazon way, gimme some skin, Doctor MMO, Vietnam says "enough", Kill Bill Complete, Razzies, Scalzi's war, inFamous2, and Robot in Jail.  Paul, Torgo, 80's, Vlarg, Kommander K, and Just Michael (the Just) weigh in on who gets sprayed the most (Hint: it's Paul).  Close the shutters, light a candle and pick up your Kindle.  It's Geek Shock.

Geek Shock 87 - A Statue to OUR God

Detroit has it's protector. New York has a grip of 'em. When do we get our protector, huh? HUH? Well...till we do, here's some geek news for you like smell-o-rama 2.0, Preacher is dead to me, kissing to improve your gamerscore, Spider-Man Smackdown, Smithsonian disagrees with Ebert, King of Kongless Kong, Dell Dumb, we can rebuild him...out of bronze, McDuffie McExits, Fringe of the cusp, Telltale tell all, R v Z, and Iron Man 3: The Black Edition. All this plus a big 'ol honkin' list as Geek Shock gets ready to protect and serve.

Geek Shock 86 - The Famous Paul Returns (Hide the Alpacas!)

Here is the moment you've been waiting for.  The Famous Paul returns to Geek Shock after a long hiatus.  For our newer listeners... oh, God... hold on to yourselves.  This week's geek news topics include Espernaza Quesadilla v. Justin Beaver, the unknown Uncharted, Twilander, Carole Lieberman makes sh*t up, Guitar Hero's demise, gamer Grammys, Felicia Age, Smallville pros and conconcon, Cry Little Sister, PS2 FTW, Die Hard 5, Sookie's Stall, iPhone psa = f**king dumb, and "Go Voltron Game!!"  Plus a big list, a smelt Paul, confused Torgo, an angry Barry, a laughing Kommander, and an exhausted 80's all for you, dear listener.

Geek Shock 85 - I Am Drinking Prison Sex

Do you like RPGs? Sure we all do. But not these...NOT these. Today we rack our feeble brains to figure out what the best-worst RPG idea is. We also talk about Chinese food, Indian astrology, Fox News misrepresents games for fear's sake(again), Larry's show, Poke-arm, Catholic App, Comic-Con, Hoover Dam, plastic rice, congressional graphic novels, Redwall no more, phone charging emergencies, Green Lantern, Stephen never knew, Summer Glau's long summer, Theme Park of Warcraft, and the Big List. And I want my Singapore Noodles, dammit!

Geek Shock 84 - Versus vs. Versus

On today's show we scrape through the cobwebs of our minds to come up with our best Hollywood style pitches for "versus" movies we would like to see. You know, like "Aliens vs. Predator" but GOOD. We also talk about other geek news like Twilight: the class, Geritol-rella, Shivs & Dragons, Shat's back(!), ebooks, Bond's silence, new Supes, cancelled cookies, China news mavericks, Crazy Frog Cash, the text that saved Moscow, Red squared, Facepalm, Huge Jackman, Standing again, No Country for old Gunslingers, Dead Space: the movie and get crazy with our Versus Big List on Geek Shock! Which Versus movie did you like the best? Do you have one of your own? Put it in the COMMENTS SECTION!

Geek Shock 83 - Die In A Pie

What if a natural 20 is a tale you spin at the inn? What if all you know is 1's but you don't know binary? What if the TPK (Total Party Kill) is constantly your fault? What if your dice hate you? Then you must cleanse them. But how? We explore this very important ponderance as well as other topics like "No rush to blame shift", Wondering Woman, Steam-punk Palin, Bane rises, Wizard lock, Jeff hates apple...still, Pac-toon, Smith gets daring, Bus stop represent, lion tacos, Comics Code Authority no more, big jalapenos, Avatar for UNICEF, Money Machine, Evil Deader, Black Panther: the documentary(?), poor Borders and a full list of the 1954 Comics Code Authority rules. So bake your die in a pie. It's Geek Shock

Geek Shock 82 - Bukkacracy.gov

The name is Torgo....Master Torgo (if you're nasty) and I have a license to fill your ears with geeky goodness. Me and my fellow agents, Dr. Vlarg, 80's Jeff, Kommander K, and Daverator go deep undercover as we expose the sordid underbelly of the Spiderman Musical, whiskey in a can, burrowing nerds, Pac-Man Apprentice, Woolly Mammoths, computer history, space jockeys no more, Aronofsky's Batman comic, deadbox, Dead-Fringe, Community goes table-top, Bond 23, e. coli: the jet fuel, Caligula resurfaces, and web shooters. Big List: Freaky Wikipedia deletions. We may never come back from this mission, especially when agent 00-fatty eats all the choco-tacos.

Geek Shock 81 - Peter Pachter vs Justin Beaver

Look Out! Run! The Government is after our internets! Kommander K, Just Michael (the Just), and Deb join the boys in trying to make sense of it all. But what will make them break first? Godzilla? Archie? Peter Pachter? Join the crew as geekdom assaults them on all sides. One controller, One game? Blunder Woman? Zionist Griffin Vultures? Is anyone safe anymore? Put down those Mega Millions numbers and tune in to find out. Oh, Phoenix Jones! Where are you when we need you? Probably out beating Barry's pinball score, I reckon.

Geek Shock 80 - Ugly Couch Show: THE GAME!!

While Barry sulks over losing his Pinball FX crown to Torgo, 80's Jeff, Torgo, Kommander K, and Just Michael (The Just) discuss the geek news of the week. And that news gets all OVER the place like Barry losing his Pinball FX crown, Boba City Cafe in Las Vegas, Gameboy grave-robbers, Frogger (don't try this at home kids), carpel tunnel for charity, unified chargers, Harmonix for a song (or 4 song packs), 10 year olds that are better than you, trolling DC once again 'official', Stan's Star, Being John Malkavitch (or else), two losses, Marvel's loss/gain, Barry loses Pinball FX crown, NASA cuts the crap, Jack returns to D, Clive returns to hell, Schlafly returns to crazytown. It's everywhere. The maid doesn't come till Thursday. Game over, man. Game over! Especially if your name is Dr. Vlarg, ex-pinball king.

Geek Shock 79 - Frakin' Year End Edition 2010

Another great year come and gone.  But what was your favorite parts?  See that comments button up there?  Hit that and tell us your favorite/worst parts of geekdom in 2010.  If you tell us yours, we'll tell you ours.  Well, we were gonna tell you ours anyway.  Plus all the News You Don't Give a SH*t About and Week In Geek news you have come to love.  And we've come to love you right back.  So tap in AND COME GET YOUR LOVIN'!!

Geek Shock 78 - Barry Gets Sad (Merry Christmas!!)

In this episode, Torgo slowly breaks Barry's will to live, Jeff slowly tells the story to nowhere, and Kommander K quickly sums up Paul's comedy in one sentence. Plus Santa drops off a sack of geek that just might make you cry. With stories to test your Christmas mettle such as Spiderman: Dark, The Madden Movie, Farmville for Dummies (no, really), GodStoria, Brit vs. Porn, Giger's return, Sexnect, 2001+17, The closing of the Gate, Alias AKA Barry Robb, SYFY Universal, Dreammachine, power bill vs. Xbox, and more. Pour a double nog for this one, you're gonna need it...

Geek Shock 77 - A Klingon Carol

We warriors of the couch would be honored if you would join us in our revelry in trying to disseminate geek culture from pop culture as we talk about the ease of Comic-Con, Grand Theft Washington, Fire(re)starter, Chinese Na'vi weddings, robot jeopardy, World of Own You, Blizzard leaks, One Piece of Nami's Fruit, an Iron Man without a captain, new Powers, Del Toro's inSANE, only Clooney can prevent jihad, and the Elder Scrolls just got elder-er. All this and crappy, independent Xbox live games on this week's show. So grab your leg of Targ and sing praises to the Christmas Kahless. Iiiiiiit's SHOWTIME!

Geek Shock 76 - JesusCraft

In the olden days they would melt the golden calf and pour it down the heathen's throat and that's what we do on this week's Shock.  Not really.  We talk geek news.  Awesomely.  This weeks show goes into biblical detail about JesusCraft, Whed-no, putting your ashes in your favorite president, why AT&T officially blows, R18+, dirty vuvuzelas, the glory of Baba Yetu, Korean curfew, canned unicorn meat, super PS3, Alien eventually, one-face, Arsenic and old lake, and the top 9 failures of this generation of video game consoles.  So grab a glass of molten gold.  It's time to get Geek Shocked.

Geek Shock 75 - Turn Off The Goram Dark, Already!

It's a sad day in geekdom as we mourn the loss of two Hollywood greats, plus some woman in Spain is gonna make us all rent the sun. But OnLive is is coming out we've all been anxiously awaiting it, right? ...right? Before a Duran gets your solar money we stuff you mind full of nerd info like Axl's late to the party (again), another Buffy burp, the destruction of Drake, NASA secrets, Kim Jong Fat, Picasso in the garage, sexy Quiddich, Kirby vs. Marvel, Hordes of ratings, the death of the 5 year console cycle, and ending with the Big List: All the things that went wrong at the SPIDERMAN: Turn Off The Dark preview.

Geek Shock 74 - Huzzahzel Tov

Deb and Kommander K ignore their soggy slice of pizza to join us in our wonderful discussions on all the geeky things that happened in this weeks news such as Jossless Buffy, interest-less Underworld, demonic USB, Gigantic MMO, life saving Tetris, modern 911 lol, scary senate bills, a full size Endeavor, mass cheating, lead poisoning (a gift that keeps on giving), Trek online, Batman, Spider-Man, and moremoremore.  So cry Huzzah and let slip the hinteles of war!

Geek Shock 73 - It's On Like Donkey $#&@

Deb and Kommander K join us because something is rotten in the state of Brick & Mortar.   But, hey good things happened too, right?  Like uber expensive collectables.  That's cool, right?  Unless you're buying.  Then I guess it kinda sucks.  Then there's major, awesome names heading up comic properties.  That's always fine.  Like when Ang Lee directed the Hulk....  um.... and let's not forget the new lizard clones, wizard fatigue, and the fall of rhythm games.  All that and a solid gold cartridge kitchen sink in this week's Geek ShOcK!

Geek Shock 72 - The Boys Return

We hope you enjoyed the special edition podcasts while we are gone. But time for being special is OVER. Geek Shock is back in this newsworthy week as we attempt to turn of our dark to bring you into the light. Find out about a lack of Dune, and increase of Tiki, personal 3D (cheap!), the dead crush the competition, beluga cocoa, urine phones, Elijah Tron, net neutrality who(?), Depp in the Shadows, Marvel TV, Marvel Broadway, Marvel Casting, and Comic-Con. Big list: 6 Comic Book Crossovers You Won't Believe Actually Happened from cracked.com

Geekshock Special #2: WATCH

It's GeekShock Special #2: WHAT TO WATCH!  Master Torgo, 80's Jeff, Dr. Vlarg, Deeb and Commander K talk about what poisoned their impressionable young eyes as children and made them the movie and TV-viewing nerds they are today.  Do those tired old shows stand the test of time?  Do those crusty old reels of celluloid even stand a chance against today's ultra-violent hyper-sexual fare?  Let's find out.

Geek Shock Special #1: GAMES

It's a GeekShock Special, the first of many!  Master Torgo, 80's Jeff, Dr. Vlarg, Deeb and Commander K talk all about the Games (video games, role-playing games and otherwise) that made them the geeks they are today, and how those games stand up to today's standards.

Geek Shock 71 - Moorcock and Dick

We at the Ugly Couch Show Network believe that we would be shirking our nerdly duties if we didn't suggest a healthy serving of Moorcock and Dick for your nerdly intake. Go find some now. While you are searching, we'll tell you about such wondrous things as Bevis & Butthhead 3D, Army of Darkness: The Ride, The top American Authors as voted by General Public, political hackings, and so much more. Have you found any Dick yet? I guess you'll just have to settle for Moorcock, then. 

Geek Shock 70 - I've Got NUMLOCK!

Oh, it's horrible. So many ugly things happened in the world of Geekdom. Our News You Don't Give a S*#t about section is full, FULL! But we won't let it get our spirits down once you get us off the street. Because, when life gives you lemons, you chuck 'em at other people and that's what you get in this week's Geek Shock; Lemons with NUMLOCK! Enjoy. Warning, NUMLOCK is contagious. If you encounter anyone with NUMLOCK contact your local health provider for immediate sterilization. Not kidding. NUMLOCK is serious.

Geek Shock 69 - Two Points for a Monkey

Geek Shock.  It's like no other gadget that you've ever seen.  Cause it's audio!  Today's team takes you on a wondrous journey to worlds where toys turn on their owners, people can't read their cue cards, Michael Jackson gets his own (virtual) planet, Stewart/Colbert get their own rallies, big brother gets bigger, easy date escape, we get an ambassador to space, Flash gets served with a nice Chianti, Black Widow goes solo, Tarantino (and all of us) lose, we go Back to the Theater, and Super Hero costumes feel GREAT!  So put something in it and... well... a treat comes dancing out.

Geek Shock 68 - Ten Pound Pizza

OMG! Did you hear about the time that 80's Jeff and his friend tried to eat a ten pound pizza in 45 minutes? Well, you will on this week's Geek Shock. Besides 80's gastrointestinal issues, you will also learn how not to do cut scenes, how to smell like a book, How to improve the sales of your waning Archie brand, How to screw the people who already overpaid for your processor, how to get Alyssa Milano to be your friend (for 90 days), How DC comics got their movie groove back, How to diversify your zoo, how to waste even more time on WOW, How to embrace your knighthood, How to reason with the Supreme Court, When to buy your used games (answer: quickly, before you can't anymore), how to buy a Stargate, How to spin your Deadpool, and when to say goodbye to an old friend. That's a lotta learnin' and that's just the kind of resume-pumping information you get on this week's GEEK SHOCK.

Geek Shock 67 - Thanos Beat Me (The Ride!)

Welcome back to Geek Shock where we celebrate everything geek, even your creepy cousin who always wears his iPod Shuffle while pumping endless quarters into the old Amidar arcade machine at  Andy's Pizza (downtown location). This week we talk about Pedobear invading SoCal, $178 cheese sandwich, Resident Evil: Afterlife: Aftershocks, Another mastermind pulls an EvE Online, Marvel Anime, Facestar, the Digital Comics Museum, cockroaches, Dead Set comes to America, Dark Tower triumphant, True Lies some more, His name is still Bruce, Free Bree, video games in the Supreme Court, Current Biology, furries, horrible Disney ride ideas, robots in jail, and pumping your own wine. We finish it off with some Dragon*Con missed connections that are not to be missed. So, belly up to the wine pump, it's time for a Geek Shock.

Geek Shock 66 - Robot In Jail

Geek Shock is back firing on all cylinders...even if those cylinders are stting in jail...telling the wrong time.  Topics this week include the Leisure Publishing implosion, mafia (and journalism) problems of Atwater California, Hack is Wack, Journey to the Center of the Island, not a Night's Devil, Duke(?), Dream invades TV, nerd poker, Fcc f's U, Battlestar Hogwarts, respect given to the Dead, Molder Kombat, how to be Superior, we lost another funny guy, BAR2D2, Gears of Charity, did you feel that breeze, and Kinect ho-hum.  That and new special guest (god help us).  Big List: 15 new things we learned about Rockband 3 from PAX. Oh, and yes Deb, Barry ate a salad for dinner.